Home. Where is it?

"In the cathedrals of New York and Rome
There is a feeling that you should just go home
And spend a lifetime finding out just where that is"

"Where thou art - that - is Home."

"I know I'm searching for something
Something so undefined
That it can only be seen
By the eyes of the blind"

Fog

Lately it has been foggy as ever. Sometimes at night, while driving, you can only see a few feet in front of you. It's the scariest feeling in the world, because the lights of the oncoming cars get blurred in the fog and you can't see anything. I'm staying home until it seizes. Lately I've been listening to Joan Osborne, and I have never heard about her until recently. I still don't know a bunch about who she is or the stuff she has done. I picked up "Little Wild One" and its a cool cd. I really like the way she writes and the lyrics she uses. If you can you should give it a listen. Here are a few that struck me.

In this crowded city,
I was so alone
Stranger to my own eyes
Heart without a home
Hallelujah.

In the cathedrals of New York and Rome
There is a feeling that you should just go home
And spend a lifetime finding out just where that is

Strangers

"In all this sober glory, something surprising appeared. At this desert trickle, beneath this cyclone fence, behind a young rock, I saw motion. Along came a blue crab. It picked it's way down some sharp grains between rocks and settled in to work the area. The crab's shell was five or six inches long from tip to tip. It's blue-and-white legs minced on their points; it squatted to feed. Why are you wandering around in the desert, I thought, instead of swimming in a Chesapeake slough, or in a pot of steam? In fact, freshwater crabs are a delicacy; the Chinese, especially, prize them.
I looked for someone to show. In all the immense space under the dry sky, only one distant man was walking, probably one of the Dutch- speakers.
And what should I call out to him? "Mynheer!" I shouted. He made his way to me over the bare ground. I showed him the crab. He was gratifyingly amazed- a big blue crab in the desert. The crab was easing itself along the chips and sand the water wetted, behind the cyclone fence. Its eyes moved on stalks. The Dutchman, too, looked for someone to show, but saw nobody. We discussed the crab, I think, and the sight of the crab.
Possibly the magnificent accent with which I'd shouted "Mynheer" impressed him, for he spoke dutch, none of which I understood. I spoke English, which he doubtless understood. His tanned face showed pale creases everywhere, in the sun, he had laughed. Pleased, he thanked me, and before wandering off he looked at me significantly. So: his look said, we meet. So: in this queer bare spot, home of nobody under the sky, two humans stand side by side to look at a crab.
Later, I thought: This fleet meeting was not so deep as, say, a marriage- but it had its moments. Who are we people? "

-Annie Dillard

Nosegays= Flowers

My nosegays are for captive;
Dim, long- expectant eyes,
Fingers denied the plucking,
Patient till paradise.

To such, if they should whisper
Of morning and the moor,
They bear no other errand,
And I, no other prayer.
-Emily Dickinson

The Lost Maples

This past weekend I was invited by a friend to go to Lost Maples state park. Apparently it is a really big deal this time of year, because the all the maples are turning different colors. I was skeptical because it was only 1.5 hours away from San Antonio. We arrived there sat in a car line to get into the park for about 20 minutes. Once we got in we started our 9 mile hike, the trail was tougher than expected. Luckily there were a few still standing maples covered in bright red, orange, and yellows. I find it interesting that everytime something as beautiful as this only is a round for a brief moment. It is almost like we have to chase beauty until it shows itself and then it goes back into hiding, waiting for another moment to just give us a glimpse and blow us away. Maybe its best for us. maybe beauty wants to us to be uncurably afflicted with the desire to see more, and more, and more.

POLADROID

Recently I stumbled across this very cool app. How you use it is, you take a picture on your computer, drag it into the little virtual polaroid, and out comes the picture polaroided. You can even shake it and watch it develop faster or just watch the picture fade in. You can even sample it a different development stages. Right now it's only available for mac users, but you can download it for free here.

Thanksgiving is Coming

Lately I have strayed away from this blogging deal, but I'm hoping to find more inspiration to write. I worded that wrong; I need to find the drive to write, the inspiration is there I just don't want to write about it. This week has had it's ups and downs, and I want to write about how thankful I am to have people who are mentors in my life. In case you didn't know my father passed away when I was 6 due to pneumonia. Before that my parents were divorced so I wasn't around a fatherly figure much, when I was younger it was actually my grandma who I spent the most time with because my mom was a single parent working to raise my sister and I. By the way I love grandmas because they are crazy and kooky and are somewhat like kids; somewhat carefree but the littlest things they worry about, like if you fall and start bleeding they act as if your dying. So as much as I miss my father I am thankful to have God and people that can fill that hole in my life. Today my car broke down, and my friend Aaron took the time to help me fix it, and we did, and I learned something new about cars, and I'm sure he missed some quality time with the family on his day off, but I'm extremely grateful for his time. This weekend I get to go to huntsville and do worship at a retreat with my cousin Blake Quimby, and he's helped shape me and realize God, and I owe him a lot, but I am also grateful for his time. There are a lot of other people I'm not mentioning, but I'm thankful for everyone. I am blessed and I hope that I can share this with others who share my situation.