Where did all the fireworks go?

Today I figured out how to apply rss feeds. So I spent most of my day trying to figure out which feeds I would like to stay updated in. I got a new e-mail its davidmatthewgamboa@gmail.com write me a letter and i'll write you one back. Thanks to gmail i'm able to unlock all the mac email features, stationary, photos, nice letter frames. I was preparing for a night of fireworks with my camera trying to catch something, but there were none. I hope to keep this thing up. Two posts in one day thats a record.

Songs In The Making

This week I got to hang out in Palacios, TX helping out with worship. Blake Quimby and I worked on some new stuff which we are both pretty excited about.

You reach down and train our hearts

, but set in our ways we fell apart

just like the moon that guides the tides

you guide our hearts in your direction

sin-soaked and tired we came

Isn't it just like you, to find us

chained in a prison of a dying place

, but love came and seized us, and link by link

these chains brittles and breaks when you breathe

creation sighs and wakes

can you hear the sound

Of your saints that await 

from this lowly ground

Our love is restored

My soul burns within me

waiting for Your hand to move

 

Constantly you've made a way

though near deaths gates we've escaped

You've shattered the fear that held us down

If all thats light turned night, surrounded us

somehow you would find us, 

oh to be lost no more

The Loser Year

It's been a challenging year. I am very thankful for it though. I've realized success isn't always satisfying, and sometimes may leave you feeling emptier than you've ever been. I've realized taking the time and effort to build friendships is much more rewarding. To sit down and share someone else's loneliness, fears, hopes, and joys. I didn't always know the right advice but It's nice to have people to think things through and pray with. Failures: spending money wisely, caring, being thoughtful of my mom, calculus, service. I've discovered reading to be a new hobby, and definitely not a waste of time, or something that people say is lame because they associate it with being unsociable. I've realized I have idolized sports and academics and at times put them above God. It's a trend that seems impossible to fix, parents don't realize it, we force ourselves not to realize it because it feels too extreme and foolish, or crazy whats the difference? God has seemed really close and really far away at times but continues to be faithful, and continues to bless my family and I and I'm extremely thankful for that. New house, less stress on my mom, health, less bills, nicer neighbors, almost kind of a fresh start. What else.... oh credit cards are bad. I've overcome my deathly cat allergy and asthma. I have caught myself thinking what's the responsible thing to do which is new and good. hmm Girls... didn't really date anyone, blew some chances but oh well. I have met some awesome girls though and i admire them. I realized i'm more comfortable talking in a group of girls than guys, maybe cause thats all that i live with, but i still trip over words with the pretty ones. anyways some Goals: be more thoughtful of others, read the word more, write more, read more, learn how to play a shuffle on drums, exercise, figure out how the heck I'm paying for college. 

"The Devil and Daniel Johnston"

"Devil leads us into that dark, uncharted valley where evil, genius, divine inspiration, insanity -- and other unfathomable mysteries -- commingle." -Washington Post

This is everything a good documentary should be. I loved it you should give a try.

Luke 2

And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. And the angel said to them, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Liberator! He is the promised Liberating King. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger."

//Luke 2:8-12//

Whenever people receive a message from God, often from a heavenly visitor, their first response is that they were terrified! I admit I've seen my fair share of ghost movies (I'm really scared of ghosts more than anything, serial killers don't phase me. I mean all they really needed was some Jesus and a good friend....right?), and as soon as I get in my room by myself I can get a feel for the same fear these shepherds must have felt. But the messenger calms them down and tells them of a Liberator, a Savior is born. This spurs thought and conversations amongst the shepherds so they decide to go see in Bethlehem, and experience what the Lord has told them about. Don't forget that shepherds were humble and poor people who had little status in the world. Yet they were the first to be called to visit the Savior of the world, the great King. Sometimes I wish God would communicate with me through some kind of burning bush or a loud thunderous voice full of reverb, but that hasn't happened, I'm not saying it can't. But a lot of times I catch myself praying for God to give me direction, yet I don't seek his direction. Now that I reflect on that it feels like I'm trying to make God my servant. When I seek God whether through songs, art, reading, fellowship, or prayer, all I get is silence from God. Then this whisper saying "trust in me or not at all!" I am blown away, and overcome with thankfulness. But the more I think about it the more I think about what I really talk to God about. Most of its filled with the same old catch phrases. Do I mean them or do I just say them to make me feel better. Feels like sometimes I really don't mean them. Sometimes It seems like praying is like throwing a coin in a wishing well, and I'm deep down flooded with doubt, asking God for this and that, but not seeking and engaging who God is. In the end he is always faithful, and i'm looking fir what he will do next.

No One's Listening

Wait, oh wait, please.
The secrets out,
But no ones listening
No ones listening
The stars are singing songs.
While the moonlight dances on,
But no one’s listening.
No ones listening

But the leaves are rustling
With rumors it’s gonna change
There’s a splinter in my heart
I’m a desperate flame
I’m captured by a glimpse of better days

Time is moving on
But the future and the past
Are keeping me
from meeting you here
Maybe if I lost everything,
if it all could disappear
‘till all that’s left is you here.

Once we get a glimpse of the kingdom of God nothing will ever fully satisfy us.

What Are We Struggling For?

I ask myself this question occasionaly, and I found a poem that comes close to answering that question. Im not too big into poetry but it is definitely something that i find a lot of beauty in, and it really spurs some good thoughts in my head.

"A Future Not Our Own"
by Archbishop Oscar Romeo

It helps now and then, to step back
and take the long view.
The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts,
it is beyond our vision.

We accomplish in our lifetime only a fraction of
the magnificient enterprise that is God's work.
Nothing we do is complete,
which is another way of saying
that the kingdom always lies beyond us.

No statement says all that could be said,
No prayer fully expresses our faith.
No confession brings perfection...
No set of goals and objectives includes everything.

This is what we are about:
We plant seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted,
knowing that they hold future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development,
We provide yeast that produces effects beyond our capabilities.

We cannot do everything
and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
This enables us to do something,
and to do it very well.
It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way,
an opportunity for God's grace to enter and do the rest.

We may never see the end results...
We are prophets of a future not our own.